Sometimes… people gain weight. I know, right? Shocking.
If a friend of mine gained weight due to mental health problems; I would never, ever call her fat. I wouldn’t tell her she’d let herself down. I wouldn’t go through her wardrobe and point out all the clothes that don’t fit her anymore. If she was worried about it; I’d be supportive and remind her that weight fluctuates with time, and that her size will probably go back to normal in a few years… and even if it doesn’t, who the hell cares?
The thing is, it didn’t happen to a friend, it happened to me. I gained weight. I suppose this happened for a few reasons, but the main culprit is having Depression. Unsurprisingly, it’s very difficult to eat healthily and exercise when you’re permanently fatigued. I know that, and I would never give anyone else a hard time about it… but for some reason, I couldn’t show myself that same kindness.
My lightbulb moment.
I had a bad habit of focusing on parts of myself I didn’t like every time I looked in the mirror. It’s no secret that I’ve got a larger chest than the average person, and would torture myself thinking of how much better my figure would look, and how much easier it would be to buy clothes if I was smaller and more proportioned.
Things improved one evening when I was scrolling through Instagram. I stumbled across an image of a very beautiful woman with a similar top-heavy figure to mine. She had a full face of makeup on, amazing hair, and was dressed to flatter her curves. I double-tapped the image and suddenly it dawned on me… how come I can think other people who look like me are beautiful, but I can’t feel that way about myself? It doesn’t make sense, right? Right. That’s when I decided that instead of beating myself up over something I (currently) can’t change, I was going to embrace it.
Did you see my fashion double-bill on YouTube? Catch up here.
Changing the way I buy clothes.
I was on a mission to learn how to make the best out of my body shape and dress for my figure. Maybe one day, I’ll have the motivation to make healthier decisions; but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy expressing myself with personal style in the meantime.
I followed more plus-sized influencers, and created a new Pinterest board dedicated to outfits for curvier women. (My previous style inspiration board had been full of size 8’s, and then I would buy similar items and wonder why they didn’t look as good on me.) I look at ASOS Curve now instead of their main collection, because the models actually look like me, meaning I get a better idea of how something will fit.
My new way of thinking has made me enjoy clothes shopping a lot more. I want to wear things that make me feel good about myself, and I think everyone deserves that – no matter what size they are.
TLDR: I woke up one day and realised I look fucking great.